Raise the Roof

So, there have been way too many changes in my life lately.


I keep saying I am ready to start, and then I try to start, and I fall flat on my face. I am so ready for an accountability partner. I am ready for some major mental shifts and ready to embrace a MAXIMIZED MIND!


I CAN do this. I can life a healthy lifestyle. I can live the life I have wanted. I can live healthy and long. I can see myself getting married, raising a family, and watching my own children go off and raise a family of their own. I can see their children have children.


So many dreams. So many obtainable dreams.




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My diet. I don't mean "dieting" but rather a lifestyle change. I want to cut out the crap. I want to eliminate sugars and all the things that make me feel awful.


I had a calzone for lunch today. Against my better judgment. My belly is so bloated and extended that I look like I am carrying a small baby.




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I had to cancel my half marathon. I cancelled it and hopefully I'll try again for it next year. I am so not prepared. I was doing ok, but Foster Care really became my prime focus.




Perhaps Foster Care is what needs to drive me and motivate me to live a life of wellness and health.




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My mom has a friend in her 70s that is still an active foster mom of special needs children. I want to be in my 30, 40s, 50, 60s, and 70s and beyond living a healthy life for these babies in my care. I want to adopt and keep up with the infants and the teens and the ones that grow up and have children of their own.


I want to set the bar high. I want to be an example. I want the children in my care to learn about health and wellbeing. So many youngsters learn by example. I pray that I can be that example to them on so many levels.

Day 9

Exhausted. Lack of sleep. Middle of the night wake up calls.


I love it and hate it all wrapped into one.


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Yesterday was not the best day for me in regards to eating healthy. I ended up going to McDonald's and getting an egg and sausage biscuit for breakfast. There was a battle of good and evil going on in my head -- Get it! But don't! It's tasty! But so bad for you ... You don't do this often! Don't do it!!!!


So I did. Along with a Frappe.


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I almost ordered out for lunch, but a coworker brought in sandwich stuff. I had 2 slices of potato bread with [light] mayo, turkey, pepperjack cheese, and pickles. I enjoyed every single bite of that sandwich.


Making meals on my own this week hasn't exactly happened. So it was nice to NOT eat out and enjoy something far less processed and unhealthy as getting fried chicken -- which was pretty much my first choice. haha.




I ended up having a yogurt for lunch. A friend invited me to her place and we ate papa murphys pizza that had chicken, spinach, feta and bacon. BEST PIZZA EVER. It was also a thin crust, so YUM all around. We also had salad and snap peas with it. She made corn on the cob, but I wasn't hungry for that.


Overall it wasn't awful. It was actually a GREAT day. :)

Day 8

So much has been happening this past week that all the days are blurring together and I am trying to keep track of what I have and have not done.


The 8th started with going to my moms and eating some left over fruit and dip. I don't recall much more of the day. It was my late night at work, so I brought left over meatballs for lunch and munched on some chocolate rice cakes.


I have not been exercising and I am working on drinking more.




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Recently I accepted a foster placement. So that is what has been the main focus of my life the past week. It has been rewarding, yet challenging.


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At this point, I will NOT be running my marathon. I wasn't even planning on showing up, but after checking their website, I can defer to next year, OR switch to the 5.7 mile run/WALK for this year.


I'll see what I am feeling in the next couple of weeks. I have close to a month to decide.


It is hard to make plans with so much unknowns with a baby!


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So that's what my Tuesday was.

Day 7

The holiday. September 7th was Labor Day. I didn't go to any big cookouts. I didn't have anything extravagant planned. I went to my moms and we ate left over pizza for breakfast, and homemade sloppy joes for late lunch/early dinner. We also had chips as a side.


We wanted fruit, and I was craving some dip to go with them. Instead of buying pre-made, I decided to try my hand at homemade. I bought cream cheese and vanilla greek yogurt. I mixed those two together with some powered sugar, vanilla extract and orange juice. Perfection.


I drank a bottle of vernors on the way home from the store. I have been drinking more water, but sometimes I just crave that fizzy!


Aside from soda, I have stayed away from the cookies, cakes, candy and other ways of refined extra sugar.

Day 6

I had such a great day on the 6th! I went to visit a lot of friends and ended up hanging out with the mommas. It felt great. I was suppose to help a friend of a friend move, but I ended up going for moral support instead. I ate pizza and sweated. We finally got some air conditioning going and it was much nicer.


After a relaxing afternoon and evening after 4, I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It wasn't overly hot by then, and I enjoyed going from inside to outside.


I don't actually recall what I had for dinner, if anything. I need to get better about what I eat and when.

Day 5

Saturday ... it was a much better nights sleep Friday into Saturday. I ate a salad so late on Friday. I woke up on Saturday and I didn't manage to eat until after noon. I make some French fries and homemade, veggie packed turkey meat balls with sweet and sour sauce. YUM.


I didn't really do much aside from that. I napped in the afternoon from about 1:45-2:45. I went to church with my family.


My cousin brought me dinner which was a BLESSING. It was Panera -- I got a Turkey Bravo sandwich. Since I never specified what side, I ended up with a baguette on the side. A bit too much bread, but I enjoyed every single morsel of food that night.

Day 4

September 4 ... One of the craziest days of my life yet. 

That being said, Thursday night I ended up ordering chicken fingers and fries. My poor bloated belly afterwards. 

I also went to the chiropractor and got some tests run. At least the initial tests show that I'm not crazy and that the pain is very real. 

So onto the 4th -- banana for breakfast, subway for lunch, and salad for diner. Along with chai tea and a bottle if Vernors. 

The chiropractor didn't have the best news. But I got my first adjustment and felt Le 50 pounds was lifted off my back! Praise God!

More to come on that after my meeting on the 10th. :)

Day 3

Until about mid afternoon yesterday, I thought yesterday was the 3rd. Nope, that would be today!


So here I am embarking on the 3rd day of this plan to a better me. I started by eliminating sugars and so far barely into day 3, it has been going well. I continue to enjoy my daily cup of joe and only yesterday I had a second caffeinated beverage of chai tea. I am putting creamer in it.


Last weekend I went camping and I bought some chocolate flavored mini rice cakes. Here I am 6 days later and I still have several left. I was munching on those on Tuesday (day 1). They sit on my desk at work. I looked at the carb count in them, and surprisingly they have less carbs in them then the gluten free spinach wrap that I've been eating! I am ok with this. But yesterday instead of indulging in these light crispy treats, I had a nice slice of pumpkin bread. It was heavenly. It made my look up recipes for pumpkin crepes and pumpkin cheesecake. The crepes I may be able to get away with, but the cheesecake will have to wait. I want to detox and rid of my body from relying on the daily doses of sugar it has become so accustomed to.


My idea of French fries for dinner never happened. Instead the coolest God thing happened.


I went to the chiropractors office for a tour. While there, they were saying that they offer dinners at the restaurant across the street. These dinners are informative, and FREE. While I didn't really have plans to be out last night, God is always one step ahead of me.


My friend and I went to this dinner and learned about the reasons why cutting out sugars is healthy. They discussed the importance of healthy fats and why we should avoid anything that was not made by God.


Dinner was paid for by the doctor, and I ordered a salad with vinaigrette dressing, as well as bruschetta chicken with rosemary seasons red potatoes and asparagus. It was amazing. I even avoided the 99% of the bread and olive oil in the middle of the table. I did break off a tiny bite near the end of dinner just to try it. I usually try to limit my gluten intake due to the unbearable gu bloating that I get from it.


I know I said I wanted to avoid the scale this go, but once again I jumped on the scale this am. When I took a health class at the first of the year, they were talking about trigger foods and how we each have our own. One way of finding what those are, is by weighing every day. Something I ate yesterday cause a 2 pound spike in weight. The culprit was either the pumpkin bread, or something along the lines of chicken, potatoes, asparagus, or tomatoes.


My meals today will consist of a half of a gluten free spinach wrap with turkey and kale and ranch dressing. Soup will most likely be on the lunch menu. And I am thinking about getting some chicken tenders from the church café tonight. But I am trying to remember how my body responded to those the last time I had them 2 months ago ... So dinner is still very much up in the air.


While at the dinner last night, I signed up for an initial evaluation with the chiropractor. I will be getting tests done on my spine and hopefully I can get all of this pain resolved.


At this time I cannot change up my work environment a whole lot, but I can work at the root of things. I can see what's up with my spine and work on correcting that.


Ideas are just that ... ideas. They mean nothing except to those that are going to take them and use the information and turn it into something. Last night was highly informative and I am going to use it to apply it to my life and start healing me from the inside out.


Once again this journey will be far more healing then I envisioned. God is good and He continually opens doors right in front of me. I follow the peace that surpasses all understanding. There was no hesitation about going for an office tour yesterday. There were no reservations about going to dinner. There was relief as I handed over my payment to reserve my spot today for an initial wellness evaluation.


I am so excited for what the next 30 days bring. I can't even imagine everything that God has in store for me to learn!


My life is surrendered. My life is in God's hands. He goes before me as He proves over and over and over again.


Please come on this journey with me, and experience with me the joy of the Lord as He manifests His goodness and presence.

Day 2

I am so desperate for relief. Not very often do I physically feel so bad that I want to scream or cry or even both.


A desk job has its cons. My shoulders and neck feel the brunt of it. I'll be sitting there and my arms go numb and tingly.


I try to stretch. I reach until I can't reach anymore then take it just a tiny bit more. Feel that deep stretch. I bend forward and I feel like my eyes are going to pop out. I bend down and I feel like the pressure builds up in my ears.


All that to say that I am finally going to tour a chiropractors office this afternoon after work. I can't keep doing this.


For so long all I've ever wanted was a deep massage, but I want to work with the very core of what is causing these issues. I need stretches. I need breaks. I need something that will make me enjoy doing what I love so much.


I have tried different chair positions. I have tried removing the arm rests off my chair. I have raise, and I have lowered my monitors. I stopped bending my neck to hold the phone. But now I rest my elbow on the desk. So much pressure everywhere.


At home I don't notice it so much. But when I am driving to work, I can already feel my muscles tighten just in anticipation of what the day is sure to hold.


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So yesterday was day 1 where I didn't consume any cookies, cakes, brownies or ice-cream. I didn't even have any soda. I want to cut soda out 100%.  I don't ever want to go back to fueling my body with the toxins found in it. It has actually been awhile since I've had any anyways, so that I am not too concerned about.


I prepared freezer meals of meatloaf, and cooked up some meatballs which were yesterdays dinner, today's lunch, and maybe tomorrows as well. Aside from the handful of cracker crumbs in the meatballs, I didn't have any heavy gluten loaded meals yesterday. Breakfast was a banana. Lunch was a gluten free spinach wrap with turkey, ranch dressing and kale. Dinner was the meatballs covered in a homemade sweet and sour sauce.


This morning I did jump on the scale because I felt great and not bloated or heavy like I usually do after eating a gluten rich diet the previous day. The scale was down. I felt light.


Breakfast today started with a gluten free spinach wrap with turkey, ranch and kale. Lunch will be meatballs. Dinner I am thinking might be some French fries with taco seasoned meat and cheese. But that is still up in the air.


I want to find some gluten free pasta shells and make stuffed shells or some kind of make, freeze and bake dinner.


I need ideas for gluten free, protein packed freezer meals. I have some stew meat in my freezer, too. Now that fall is almost here, my crockpot will be my best friend.


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Cutting back on sugar will be so very good for me. One thing I also want to work on cutting back on it caffeine. I only drink about 1 cup of coffee a day, with the occasional chai tea several hours later. While I work to eliminate all excess sugar, I am still using creamer. I am afraid to look at that sugar content. I know I use more than the "1 Tablespoon" serving size. But I don't use as much as I used to, either. I have cut back on it and use at least 1/4 to 1/3 less than I was using 3 months ago.


Unfortunately, I am at the point where when I am home on the weekends, I have to do a gas station run to get an iced coffee each day because of the splitting headache. There has to be an alternative while I work on cutting back, to one day eliminating caffeine completely.


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Even as I type this my arms are getting prickly. My neck is stiff, and my wrists and finger are pained.


I pray that this ends soon. I pray that I am able to experience some relief. I try not to focus on it because I believe that when I focus on it, it just intensifies it.


There are so many other people in the world with far more pain. I used to have a high threshold for pain. And perhaps I still do. But right now I feel weak in complaining about my aches.


Ah. Sweet relief. You cannot come soon enough. I pray that I find the right chiropractor and that his/her hands are guided and that my eyes, ears and heart are open to suggestions. This journey and this process are surrendered to the Lord. I am ready to take care of me and see what lies ahead.

Day 1

Here we go again.


September 1. Day 1. New month, new me.


One of the catch phrases that went through my mind when I thought about "New month, new me" and how I am trying to zero in on a better me was "Do all the things!!"


Sure there is SO much that I want to accomplish. There is so much that I wish I could just close my eyes, count to three and voila! done. But life doesn't work that way.




So here I am back at Day 1.


I am pretty sure my scale tips 10 pounds heavier then when I started my 30 day shred in June.


But the scale doesn't really matter to me. I would be a-ok if I never even step on it this month.


Instead I want to fit back into my fall and winter clothes. We had a really chilly week for it being summer last week where we were lucky when the temp reached mid 60s. I was in fall clothes heaven. I pulled out sweaters. I pulled out boots. I wore a hoodie. But I also wore shorts. Because my jeans were just too uncomfortable to sit in.


I went camping with a friend last weekend, and I did a lot of physical labor. I was chopping dead trees for our camp fire. I was dragging longer downed trees across the camp site. I went for a couple walks along the lake and even went swimming.


I came home feeling great. I didn't drink as much water over the weekend as I had hoped to. I came home with an extra gallon of water and it sits next to me now as I type. I have 1/2 gallon as a goal to drink up today. And the day is already half over.


Prepping freezer meals is how the month started. I have no excuse for not eating healthy. I prepped meatballs with sweet and sour sauce. I packed those little suckers with zucchini, green peppers, onions, summer squash and carrots. I also made meatloaf with the same vegetables. There really wasn't a huge difference between the two recipes, except that the meatloaf has an extra egg.




Several of my friends have been talking up chiropractors the past several months. I am to the point where I am serious about seeing one myself. I have some names of places to look into. I am hoping that it will help with some tightness in my shoulders from sitting at a desk all day. I also hope it helps me with far more then I can even put into words.


I have just accepted what's up in my life as normal. So if I can only improve and have a better quality of life, I am all for that!


So there is where I start this next 30 days to a better me.


Goals by September 30

• Fit into some of my winter pants
• Find a chiropractor

9 Weeks 1 Day to Train

I have been following my 30 minutes a day pretty religiously. Last night I only made it 1 mile, but I finished that mile strong and in 14:59 minute. It was grueling and it was painful.


The majority of it, the thoughts that were dominating my mind were "you can't do it" and "give up now."


I weighed the options. I conversed with myself. I wondered if I would really regret paying $50 towards a half marathon and then ... just not going.


The struggle is real.


I keep experiencing pain. I am pushing myself way too hard. I am not sure if physically pressing for half marathon with so little gumption to train is the best thing to do.


Pros. Cons. Thoughts both negative and positive.


Can I do this? I am certainly going to try. I won't give up. If I am going down, I am going down with a fight.


Until then ... I press on.

10 Weeks 1 Day to Train

It is amazing how fast time flies by.


I signed up for a half marathon in February. That should have been more than enough time to train. Here I am 10 weeks away, and I am hardly can run a half mile without pain and getting tired.


The Color Run was 2 weeks ago, and while I did well in it, I was completely exhausted by the end of it.


The past Couple of Days I have had a plan to train for 30 minutes a day -- whatever that looks like. Walking, running, cycling, swimming, yoga, etc. 30 minutes. A rest and recovery day 1-2 days per week depending on the intensity of that weeks workout. ]

Online I found a program for an 8 week half marathon training schedule. Running anything over 3-4 miles scares me silly. I know I can do it. I know that I have it me to do this. I have walked far distances. I have gone on day hikes. I have walked miles in a day. But never 13.1 condensed down into "you much be able to walk a 16 minute mile."


In my training I am right there. I am at about a 15:49 (I think) minute mile. That give me next to no leniency. As I progress into miles 4, 5, 6 and so forth .. I need energy to keep going to make it past mile 13. Building up endurance right now is the biggest key. For now my daily goal is 30 minutes of exercise. I'll add the miles soon. One day at a time with a future goal of getting to 13. I'd love to run it in less than 3 hours. I'd love to run it in less than 2.5 hours. 2 hours would be really awesome, too.


So do I have enough time? Yes. Here goes close to everything I've got.




8/13: 20 minutes of yoga, 10 minute walk
8/12: 30 minute walk -- 1.75 miles
8/11: 30 minute run/walk -- 1.91 miles

Proverbs 11

The main headline when I look at Proverb 11 is "Without Good Direction, People lose Their Way." How much truth is in that! So often I have failed to seek direction and have become so lost that the only way to find my way again is by looking up and to God! How peaceful my life would be if I sough good direction, never losing sight of God, and finding my way! The stuck up fall flat on their face, but the down-to-earth stand firm. Money means nothing when life falls apart. Having principle is a pillar in the disharmony. Moral character, Good character, a good person is saved from trouble while the wicked and evil run straight for it. Is it possible to live a good life one moment and a bad one the next? There is so much truth in the Proverbs. I recall the Apostle Paul saying that he does what he doesn't want. So often we can be so focused on living a "good life" that it becomes a habit and not from the heart. God, shape my life. Lead me to be kind to others, to do good work for solid pay. I pray for honesty, fairness and loyalty. I pray for your blessings. May I be an ever-bearing tree, shining your light and living solely for You!

Proverbs 10

A wise child makes his father glad while the stupid actions of a child makes his mother sad. I want the be the child that makes my father and mother glad. I want to live a life of wisdom. I pray that my soul is good, honest and diligent. I pray that I do what is right in the due season. I want to live honestly with confidence. A wise heart takes orders, the mouth of a good person is deep and life giving. Love stops arguments. Wisdom is in the person of insight. A wise person accumulate knowledge, while a know it all talks too much and wastes it. I seek to live a life of discipline. One where my words are wisely measured and said on cue. I want my aspirations to be pure and humble, that when my life ends it is celebrated. I want to stand firm, grounded in goodness. "Good people last -- they can't be moved" (30). My only wisdom pour forth from my mouth like a fountain. Reading the proverbs and using them as a lens to view my life, I know that I don't use my words to only speak wisdom. There is far too much in my vocabulary that needs to be purged. I don't mean swear words. I don't see myself as a gossip either. But there are things I say that should not be said. I pray for wisdom. I pray I know what needs to be said and when it needs to be said. The proverbs are so rich with how to do this. I pray that my eyes, ears and heart are open to embrace this beautiful lifestyle.

Proverbs 9

I have recently discovered how much I love the Message translation of Proverbs. I have been reading that recently and will try to reference that translation as much as I can from now on. Wisdom makes herself knows. Calls those to join her at feast. If you have confusion or uncertainty, wisdom calls. Wisdom invites you to dine with her so that you can live! By sitting with those who are an arrogant cynic, you'll be slapped in the face and kicked in the shins by confronting bad behavior. Rather, correct those who care about life and you'll be loved! Give breath to the wise and they'll gain more wisdom. Speak the good news and others will profit from it. Lady Wisdom. How noble a name. It is with wisdom that years of life ripen! Adultery and lust try to sing Lady Wisdom's tunes. Rather then living a rich life, those who chose them over Wisdom are pulled into a pit of ruin and despair.

Proverbs 8

Wisdom calls and beckons. Wisdom and Understand make theirselves available. They do not hide and flee. Proverbs 8 makes this clear. Wisdom stands atop the highest tower. Wisdom only speaks what is just. Ever wonder what wisdom looks like or if the words spoke were wise? The words of wisdom will never be crooked or perverse. Those who seek discernment of wisdom find knowledge. Wisdom is far more valuable than any other thing such as silver, gold and rubies. Wisdom dwells in the prudent. Stays far from pride and arrogance. The kings and princes reign and rule by wisdom. Wisdom was there at the creation of the world, when the heavens were set in place. Listen to the words of wisdom and keep the ways of wisdom. Do not disregard it. Bind it. Hold it. Receive it. Be blessed by the Lord and receive favor. Those who fail to find wisdom harm themselves, by hating wisdom, they are lovers of death (36).

Proverbs 7

Proverb 7 opens with an instruction to treasure commands and keep the teachings as the "apple of your eye." Further is encourages one to bind them on the fingers and tablet of the heart.


To have wisdom and understanding as a sister and a friend! I have sisters. I have friends. I try to picture Wisdom and Understanding as a friend. I feel it would "look" more like a personality (clearly wisdom and understanding) instead of a physical body.


How much Proverbs talks against adultery and lust! Keep wisdom. Keep understanding.


I once read a book that highlighted part of Proverbs 7. I wish I could recall it here. I think the book was "the power of the point" but I can't recall it enough to know if it was or not.


Falling into the prey of an adulterer, though she entices with words and lips .... her house and her ways is sure to lead to only destruction.

Other chapters of the Bible are very clear on God's grace and redeeming love.


Never once do I feel the Proverbs are intended to condemn us. They are a book of wisdom. I can see areas of where I've strayed how the proverbs say it how it is. "You do this ... this will happen."


I use the Proverbs as a guidebook. As a way to seek out wisdom and understanding. Just as I use this blog to help sort my thoughts in a transparent way.






*Disclaimer -- I am NOT  Bible scholar. I have not had Biblical training other than what I hear in church every week. These are my personal thoughts and writings.

Proverbs 6

Proverbs is filled with words that help enhance my vocabulary. The very first line of Proverbs 6 has "surety" which is defined as "a person who takes responsibility for another's performance of an undertaking, for example their appearing in court or the payment of a debt." To do so, one has been snared by their lips, and caught by the words of their mouth. It is advised to free oneself from this kind of living. From the aunt we can learn wisdom because they procure food in summer to last all winter. Don't be lazy; work while you can to prepare for the future. (It brings me back to Joseph and preparing for the 7 years of famine). If you sleep away (or be lazy) during the times of great planting, and harvesting, and living, poverty will surely come! Seven things to avoid, as they are hated by the Lord: Pride. Lying. Murder. Intrigue. Readiness to do evil. False Witness. The stirring up of discord. Adultery is for sure to be avoided as it is mentioned yet another time as a warning against Adultery. It is advised to observe the father's bidding and the mother's teaching. Using it as a lamp to light the way.

Proverbs 5

Again this Proverbs starts with the all familiar "to my wisdom be attentive." It progresses to say "listen to me, go not astray from the words of my mouth." They are referring to adultery -- avoid going into her home and stay away. Back to how Proverb 4 ended -- guard you heart. I so wish I had clearer discernment and understanding of chapter 5. The main message is a warning against adultery. It mentions drinking from your own well, if you fall prey to adulterous acts, you will ask yourself why you hated instruction and your heart spurn reproof. There are similes, and one thing means something else. Sometimes a commentary would be great to have. I would understand moreso what is being said. While yes, I did read Proverb 5, I did not fully comprehend it. I take away from it, not to be an adulterer. That a man shall lay with his own wife, and not the wife of another. So much of it is directed at men, but I know that it is address far more than just men in this day and age.

Proverbs 4

In months and years past, whenever I read the Proverbs, I used them to compare to people in my life. I never really used them as a mirror to my own soul. I never asked myself if that is how I am living. I never saw the fruits of them in my life. That has recently changed. Now I read them and so many "real life examples" come to memory. I see their fruit blossoming. It is now very few and far between where I read something and someone else comes to mind. As I read Proverb 4, it sunk in more and more how much I myself need wisdom and understanding. Verse 7 states "the beginning of wisdom is: get wisdom; at the cost of all you have; get understanding." For this to be emphasized so greatly, I feel I am not to just read it and move on, but really take it to heart. "Getting wisdom is great, but h o w do you get wisdom?" I feel that there is an answer is there that I have either forgotten, or I have no fully comprehended it yet. I continue to read the Proverbs and I continually pray and seek God. The Proverbs also give guidelines to avoid being a fool, and how to recognize the ways of the wicked. We are reminded to hold fast to these wise words, holding them in our hearts. The age old wisdom that often singles looking to enter into a relationship or courtship are told "GUARD YOUR HEART!" comes from Proverbs 4, verse 23. "With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life." Lord, guard my heart, teach me to guard my heart. Not only in relationships, but in all things! From within my heart is the source of life. Good things flow.

Proverbs 3

Chapter 3 starts with a very uplifting and freeing verse. Do not forget the teachings and keep the commands. For by doing this you will have days, and years of life of peace. There is an emphasis on remaining kind resulting in winning favor and good esteem before God and man. And the very well known verse to trust in the Lord, don't lean on your own understanding. But acknowledge the Lord as He alone will direct your paths. Tithing us mentioned by saying to honor the Lord with first fruits. I've experuebced first hand of "less being more" when my first 10% of income goes towards what God has called me to use it for. I am more inclined to find wisdom when I read that happy is that man! Wisdom is talked about with such high esteem. It brings forth so much good fruit within. To possess wisdom is richness. The Lord, by wisdom, founded the earth. The Lord made us in His image. Don't plot evil against fellow man. God takes care of the wicked and unjust. He blesses the just mans house. He is kind to the humble. There is so much for me to let sink in and digest and talk to the Lord about. May these not just be words, but a lifestyle!

Proverbs 2

While I have missed many days blogging about the Proverb of the Day, it certaunly hasn't deterred me from my daily reading. I've already been learning so much in a short time. I'll give some recaps of the past several days and hopefully get on track here shortly. :) Proverbs 2 starts with some "if you" passages. If you (do this) you will (gain this). Receive the words. Treasure the commands. Turn ear to wisdom. Incline heart to understanding. Call to intelligence. To understanding raise your voice. See like silver and search as if searching for hidden treasures. By following those commands it will be found: to understand fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God. This particular chapter really inspires me to live an upright and just life. It is a way to eternal life. I'll be saved from evil, perverse speaking dark men and adultery. I'll walk with good people. I will dwell in the Land as it is where the honest remain (21).

Proverbs 1

Sometime ago I Bevan reading "the proverb of the day." I've never remained consistent, but I'm sure I've gone Atleast 30-31 days of reading the proverb of the day every day for Atleast that one month. July challenge is to focus on the proverbs abs meditate on each one daily. I'll documebt some thoughts here. Proverbs 1. I feel I just want to quote the entire chapter. How do I pick just one ir two verses? Verse 2 was what first stood out to me. The Proverbs were written so that men(women) may appreciate wisdom and discipline and understand intelligence. For as often as I've read the proverbs, this is the first time this verse truly stuck out. I pray that resourcefulness is imparted on me. I pray to have knowledge, discretion, and advance in learning. May I comprehend the proverb, the parables, and riddles of the wise. As I venture on this next 31 day challenge, I pray that my eyes are open to see, that my ears are open to hear, and that I learn on an even deeper level who my Abba is and more so how much He loves me. I pray I gain wisdom and understanding. I pray that I learn what a beautiful Joy it is to fear of the Lord. I rebuke arrogance. I rebuke hatred. Verse 33: "but he who obeys me dwells in security, in peace, without fear of harm." Lord Jesus. Papa God. Teach me obedience so that I have security and peace. Amen.

Day 30

Wow. Day 30 is at its close. Who ever knew 30 days could seem like so short yet so long ago all the same? Life truly is short. Sometimes too short. So often I findmysenf living for later when "here and now" is what I have been blessed with. So this past month I didn't "drop a dress size." I didn't get my arms to stop jiggling. My inner thighs still rub. In certain pants there is evidence of a "muffin top." While yes, I want to be healthy physicslly, I really could care less about these so called flaws. I want to be beautiful on the inside. When the world is in an uproar, I want to find peace from God Almighty. There are so many differences and conflicting opinions in the world. Everyone feels threatened to some degree. Everyone is quick to throw out their opinion like a life saver hoping they won't sink. They must say something! Heaven forbid they remain silent. Drama. Hurt. Confusion. Ignorance. Two sides. What is the motive behind anything? I started this journey 30 days ago. I set out to be a better me. There have certainly been many character defining moments along the way. I've encountered some challenges that I didn't post about. I posted about something's that were rather uncomfortable. But I made it. Another 30 days behind me. 30 days I can't redo. 30 days I can't relive. All the things I wish I did differently I can start next month. All the things I did right I can elaborate on them. There were something's that were June specific. What they were I really don't know. Summer technically just began. I still have a few months to embrace a lot. I have a half marathon and a 5k to look forward to. Friends and the lake. Barbecuing. Family. My birthday. Seeing old friends and meeting new ones. These past 30 days were wonderful. I'm pretty excited to see what lies ahead. I think I'll keep up with the blogging. How often? I'm not sure. I think I'll take a slightly different, more targeted approach to July. I have until tomorrow to really decide what that'll look like. Maybe I'll focus on documenting one area? Maybe I'll be more specific in how I documebt what I gave been. Regardless, this process have been delightful. I'm so happy I did it. I'm a winner in my Father's eyes. Amen.

Day 29

Where has June gone? I can hardly believe that the month is nearing its close! I wish I had more to say for it. I started off strong, then lost motivation. Then motivation came back, and I was all ready to proceed, then it went away. Hen came back and went away many more times over the course of the month. Having a blog has really aided in holding me accountable. I haven't always posted e v e r y thing because I would forget, run out of time, or just couldn't figure out the words to use. Today is my baby sister's 3rd birthday. She has an oral aversion, so she doesn't opt to eat-- yet we always seem to celebrate with food. But today was a little different. My sisters and I all went to see "Inside Out" in theatres. It was a cute movie and I was excited that we could go with all my sisters. I made a meatloaf and baked potatoes. I need to rethink the way I make backed potatoes, as this is the second time in a row that I've burnt the spuds. After a wonderful day of relaxing and not really doing anything in particular, I went to church with the family and we celebrated the birthday girl with presents and cake. She just liked poking the candles in the cake and spreading it around with a fork. For her not eating any of it, she sure had lots of blue on her! One more day left in this "challenge." Again I have to say this journey has been far more emotional and spiritual then physical. I still don't know why I opt for the unhealthy foods and the choice to stay inside and veg instead of getting outside and running, cycling, or just moving in general. Goals. They are a great thing to have. I will continue to set them and continue to work towards them.

Day 28

Up and off to church I went. I bought a new skirt last night. I actually bought some new clothes -- a whole $68 worth and didn't have to pay a penny! I had had 4 pennies left over! Yey for sales, and coupons and store cash coupons! Family function two was today. I munched on peanut m & m's. I ate only 1 sandwich. I stopped after 2 peanut blossom cookies! I went to my friends cottage and swam, tubed, and boated. I feel I got in a great workout. For dinner we had ribs, corn, salads, and tortilla chips. Dessert was this amazing concoction of brownie, icecream, chocolate topping and whipped cream. O.My.Word. It was so amazingly delicious! Drinking water has not been going as well as it had been before. I am still keeping up with my vitamins, so I am happy about that. THe scale keeps fluctuating. I have a giant drawer of snacks in my desk at work. It was only the beginning of the month when I attempted to limit coffee creamer. Then we ran out of coffee at work. It was easy enough to not have creamer then. But we have coffee again. Today is day 3 of no coffee. Almost 4 days caffeine free-- I broke down and got a soda from McDonalds today. Hormones tend to do better when there is minimal caffeine on board. Well, onward and offward.

Day 27

My goodness. Life has been rough. Extremely emotional and hormonal and I haven't exactly had the motivation to do much. It kinda sucks. It majorly sucks. Family function one of three was today. While I didn't do too awful with food choices for the main meal, I fell hard for the peanut blossom cookies. And then I enjoyed the amazing birthday cake. YUM. I got a 2 mile run in! So all in all, I don't feel it was a completely bad day. ;)

Day 26

theres got to be a better way to handle hormones.

4 Icecream bars and a 2 mile rollerblade trip later. Oh my.

Day 25

its unwind time. Well. It should be. But I firgot to blog earlier in the day.

What a whirlwind of life I'm presently living.

A 6a run? Oh please. A 7a wake up? Negative. I was too exhausted this morning to even make it to work ontime.

A run after work? Not that either. A trip to the store and a couple of icecream bars later.

That's ik. The scale was down 1.9 pounds. Was that this morning? Or yesterday? Doesn't matter. Something I'm doing is working. I plan to keep it up!!

I read some of the book of Job tonight. Wisdoms. It can't be bought. Wisdom is fear of the lord and avoiding evil is understanding.

Day 24

24th day coming to a close and what do I have to say of it??

I'm reminded more and more how fast time flies by.

I've gotten in some good stretching tonight. I went for maybe a quarter mine bike ride. Maybe. But I gave it my all. It was rest day from a run.

Tomorrow is like to be running by 6:15. I want to be out of bed by 6. I can do it. I've got some time before bedtime to shower so I can get my required 8 hours of sleep.

And then back on the band wagon with drinking more water. Back in the band wagon of limiting technology. Back to reading more.

Back to setting a positive example for the future generations.

Day 23

I came home from work after one helluva day. It wasn't bad, there were just lots of emotions. All the way home I anticipated eating an Icecream cone and vegging out in front of Netflix.

This plan was foiled when I came home and there was no Icecream. Plan B. Get in a run - which was plan A until shortly before I headed home.

So here I am after eating 2 "natures choice" nitrate free beef hot dogs. I ate the pure protein only after getting in a 1.35 mile 20 minute run.

I'm making headway. I'm getting there. My goal was to get a base of 10 miles this week. I'm slacking and it's only Tuesday. I need to get a solid 2 miles before I start tacking on distance. I'm gradually increasing speed. I'm doing intervals more consistently. Hills kill me. But I'm looking at how far I've come and not how far I have yet to go!!

Day 22

Ugh. Hormones. Happen one second, something else the next. I hate it. I hate the week that constitutes every single emotion under the sun rotating every milliseconds for hours, days, on end.

At least exercise helps a great deal. As does water and vitamin consumption.

Today another 2 miles down. My shorts are feeling somewhat baggy. That gives me hope and it encourages me.

I lost count of how many weeks to my half. Maybe 16? I still have time. I'd like to be up to running 7 miles by August. I'd like to run my half in less than 5 hours. I'm averaging 3-3.4 mph right now. I want to increase that significantly. Even I get up to 5 mph. 6 or 7 is ideal.

I saw a quote "I don't diet and exercise; I eat and train." YES! This resonated with me. Too often I catch myself saying "time to exercise" but recently I've changed it up to "training time!" I'm going to kick butt. My butt. Im kicking it into gear.

This blig has been incredibly helpful with organizing my thoughts and incorporating healthy choices and achieving goals. It has helped me purge bad things while having healthy lifestyles and goals. It has taught me a little bit more about being human. I'm certainty not perfect, I eing ever claim I am. I'm just me. A beautifully flawed individual with a desire to live and let live, while inspiring individuals to rise to their highest potential. Because we are all beautiful. Embrace it.

Day 21

another week down. Where is the time going? Am I investing it wisely? Am I intentional about what I do, where I go and how I live?

About 4 years ago I was surrounded by a group of friends and often I heard "be intentional." I was so confused. I had no idea what this kind of thinking was. It took me close to a year of analyzing it. Intentional means "with a purpose." I want to do all I do and say all u say with a purpose.

Even in starting this blig my intention was to grow and exercise and get in shape physically, mentally,  emotionally and mentally. Too often I lost focus of this but I kept on keeping on.

I have learned that I need greater self control. I need to train and learn what clean eating is. I need to opt for salads and protein over carbs, breads, pasta and dessert. Less can certainly be more. I can opt for the smaller portion than the larger one.

Organizing my life in the outer realm has been refreshing. I'm simplifying and downsizing. My closet and dresser drawers are not so full. I have more hangers Than clothes in my closet once again.

I want to work up a monthly and a weekly cleaning chart. I have my bathroom a deep clean today. The shower rod I've had for 4 years and countless times it has fallen down and hit me. Or it'll fall in the middle of the night and I'll think someone broken in - on the 2nd story in the front of the house during morning commutes into work. Right.

Finally I bought a new one today. I even replaced the cheap clear plastic shower curtain holders that were so hard water restrained and rusty from the old rod. While I had the rod and curtain down, I scrubbed the tub/shower pretty well. I had previously washed the curtain, liner and hair stopper the night prior with Clorox abd borax. The dingy, mildewed previous white articles were back to almost new condition. Goodness I'm so thankful for a machine washable shower curtain liner!!

I scrubbed the sink and toilet well, too. I hate harsh chemicals. The smell is irritating. But I managed to only use scrubbing bubbles and toilet bowl cleaner. And a mr clean scrubbie that I totally annihilated.

Earlier this week I picked up 3 laundry baskets. I lined them up in my bathroom. One for lights. One for darks. One for towels. I'm so over washing all of my clothes together. The colors blend. The jeans ruin delicates. I was only doing it for convenience because a load takes so long in the wash. But so far I'm doing well with this system. When 1 basket gets full, time to wash that load. Or I can more easily keep track of what article of clothing I need and what in sl running low on.

I still have a long way to go when it comes to organizing. My biggest problem is that I take something out, and do f put it back where it belongs. It'll sit out for forever or I'll put it in the general vicinity. I'm learning. I'm getting better at it. The less I have the easier it is.

Nothing on this earth can I take with me to enjoy outside of this earth.

I want to get into a heavenly mindset. The world will pass away. I don't want to be attached to wordly things, but instead be focused on my heavenly home.

Day 20

2/3 of the way done. This journey has been immensely healing for me. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Physically.

Today I worked a 12 hour shift with mentally recovering patients. It breaks my heart to see some of these people and their mind sets they are stuck in. May times it felt like I was working with toddlers. Trapped. Trapped in their body. Trapped in their mind.

Day 19

the scale says what it said on day 1. So I know I'm great at maintaining. My arms are getting toned. My gut feels tighter, firmer and "sucked in," my friend noted "woot woot toned legs!" and I walked 1.68 miles today pushing my sister in a jogger and didn't break a sweat!

My face is breaking out with hormonal fluctuations. A detox I attempted left me with uncomfortable skin predicaments. A random dermatitis randomly flares up on my stomach or hips and never in the same place twice.

I started my cloves regiment again and I've aiways stopped after a couple days because I would develop red bumps. Nothing painful nor anything itchy that I recall. Like pimpl minus the ooze. I always associated the red bumps with an allergy to cloves but I get red bumps randomly when I don't take cloves. It's something. But I'm not sure what. A mix of what I eat and what I put on my skin? I usually use sensitive skin dove bars and tide free laundry detergent. Occasionally I spice it up and ise something ridden with overbearing scent. I haven't put a connection there yet.

I went facebook free today. I didn't miss it. Typing "m.fa" is too much of a habit, but I did well refraining. :)

I work 12.5 hours tomorrow. It has been a very long time since I've worked these kind of hours. Wish me luck. Good night.

Day 18

6:30 am. The Suns up. There's a bit of fog. Oh and theres me running! 1.24 miles by 7am? Yeah buddie! I hit my personal best mile of 13:55. If I've ever documented one that fast, it's been over a year ago. I felt great. Tired but so great. I feel accomplished that that's how I started my day.


Progress.

I'm trying to eat more protein and more leafy veggies. I haven't gone cold turkey on sugar.

I'm taking my multivitamin and I've also included cloves. They've proven to be a good source of fiber. ;)

I'm still getting in my water intake. :) and I'm feeling better overall.

Just to cut back on technology...

Day 17

Cutting back on sugar made for an incredibly trying day yesterday. I was miserable. Today I should have kept up with the trend, but sadly I caved and had icecream. 3 drumsticks. 

I also didn't get my run in today. Though I grilled beef franks and I FINALLY planted my raspberries. All I need now is to buy mulch/bark and cover the ground to help eliminate weeds!

There are a lot of things falling into place for me. In trying to simplify life. I trying to control less and surrender more. 

I'm not in charge of my outcome in life. I do have choices and when I'm connected with God, He won't let me down. 

There are some things I do in life and I wonder why I made such choices. I'll follow a prompting of the Holy Spirit and then that same day second guess abd feel selfish and get anxious that I did something wrong. 

Even as I write this I am reminded of  Phillipians 4:6-7: 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

My heart belongs to Jesus. Everything I do I want to do for the glory of God. I want to be healthy and make smart choices so I can fulfill Gods calling on my life. 

Day 16

Day 16. Day 16 was a different day. It did not involve sleeping in as was hoped for. It was good though. Day 2 of breaking in the new running shoes. So far the shoes have 2.6 miles or so on them. Trying to work up a base of 10 miles a week.


I have been doing better with self control. We had a vendor come into work with icecream. I  had consumed so much sugar the 4 days prior, that I had such an awful sugar headache. I wanted icecream so bad to hopefully help the headache subside. But I refrained. I said no and stuck with it.


All in all, this has been a great journey! I am excited to see what the rest of the month brings!

Day 15

I can hardly believe that I have hit the half way mark on this journey. I feel for the most part that I have been going solo. I feel that is kind of what I've needed this far. I have been going to God to answer my big problems. I don't run to a friend first.

It feels like 15 days ago was forever ago. I feel like it should be beyond day 15. Yet at the same time .. I feel like time is going too fast. Why didn't I know then what I know now. How come I didn't prepare for the challenges I've encountered. Can I prepare now for what lies ahead?

Weight loss isn't really my goal. Dropping a dress size isn't really my goal either. As I've said time and time again, this is for a lifestyle change. I want to change the way I think. I want to change the way I live. I can't do it all at once, but over time the old will pass away making room for the new.

This morning I took my new shoes for a run. I love them. I still need to perfect how I tie them (as my feet still were falling asleep), and work on form, but for the first time I ran for a whole minute and a half. Or was it two minutes? I don't remember. I just know I ran and I felt great! I want to be able to run for miles without stopping. I have accepted the fact that I am not there yet. I will be. In due time I will be.

While my water intake has barely been 32 ounces, I have taken in at least 64 ounces in fluid by means of protein shake, sports drink, and smoothie.

Goals:

Drink, drink, drink.
Run on two of the next 3 days. Rest Friday, Sunday, and since I am working a 12 hour shift on Saturday, I am not planning to run that day.

Run 3 days a week. Work on breaking in my shoes and getting up to a base of at least 10 miles a week.

Hike.

Get back into making healthy eating choices. 

Day 14

Rain brough the party indoors up to the cottage! It was more junk food. But there was lots of swimming and jet skiing.

Almost time to head home and bedtime. :)

Day 13

today was a party day. Actually. It's a party weekend.

I'm ok with this. Especially since I got on the scale this am and it rehistered down 2.2 pounds!! So I know that something I'm doing is working!

Day 12

i thought I would reach some grandiose moment in life where I was fed up with feeling like crap. Like I would have an ephiphaby or something that'd get me on the clean living band wagon. Yea right. That hasn't happened yet.

Last night after consuming 2 snickers and almost a pound of bacon I'd be satisfied for awhile. Um. No. I did great until tonigh when I managed to enjoy me some Boston cooler. Vernors and vanilla icecream. Yum. But I enjoyed every sip!!

I had my 2 protein shakes. I'm at 2 out of 3 rounds of vitamins for the day. I always aim for 3, but am ok if I get in 2. Aside from protein shakes I had pizza and fish sticks.

I'm at over my 64 ounces of water again. I'm doing the best in that area. I'm slowly learning what foods fuel me and what foods make me feel icky. If I consume too much bread, sugar or refined products, I feel bloated and retain water. When I eat fresh fruits and veggies and meats nix the bad stuff I do much better.

It's a process. One that I'm committed to. One that I'm willing to follow through. I don't want to diet. I don't want to just lose weight and then go back to normal. I want a revolution. A life style change.

Day 11

im officially done with the first 3rd of this challenge. At least the documented 30 day journey. I debate extending my journaling. But after 30 days I'll see.

I finally bought running shoes. I'll put them to use next week! I'm excited to try them out!!!

I also bought shorts. Not capris. Not burmudas. But shorts. I've struggled with body image for a long time. I don't want to dress provocatively. I don't want to dress to impress. I'm so over feeling shamed because I have curves or breasts.

I bought a maxi skirt, too. My first one ever. I'm pretty excited to wear it! Casual Friday? I'm wearing a skirt!

My boss brought in cinnamon rolls today. I was going to pass. I did pass. For several hours. Then I caved. First 1/2. Then the other half. And to think that was the worse part? Nope. I then proceeded to have 2 snickers bars. There close to 700 calories that were totally unneeded.

Dinner consisted of 12 ounces of bacon. I did have my vitamins 3 times today. And I had a protein shake for breakfast AND lunch. Plus some fruit. I don't feel I did too shabby overall. Plus I went over 64 ounces of water again today.

A friend reminded me today of God's timing. Far too often I strive and I seek to gain control of a situation. It doesn't go as planned. Therecare delays. Miscommunications. People come and people go. I want what I want now. But God has a far greater plan. And everyday i learn to trust more. I learn to surrender again. I choose to walk with the Lord. Oh how much greater are his plans for me!!!

Day 10

well, water intake hasn't been an issue at all today. I'm downing the last of Atleast 96 ounces. If I can keep with this intake I think I'll be golden.

When I did my kayak adventure 4 days ago, I knew very early on that I had to drink, drink, drink. Being that I'm unceasing fluid, I notice so much quicker when I'm dehydrated. It's a blessing and a curse.

In 10 days the scale has not budged. It went up 0.3 pounds and plateaued. It sucks. My clothes don't feel any looser either. Some even feel tighter.

Am I not fully committed? Am I not giving it my all? Not really. I'm only half in this. And I can't figure out why!

There is a deeply spiritual journey in embarking on alongside this shread. The spiritual and emotional aspect is indeed proving to be more trying than the physical. I've been more active in the past 10 days. I keep pressing forward.

How much of this journey is mental? I feel far more than I care to admit.

My body is spent. Aches and pains are felt in muscles I didn't know existed.

I need a plan. There are so many things out there to choose from. I try so hard to do a little of both and ultimately end up failing miserably.

Low calorie? Low carb? Low fat? The possibilities are endless.

Low carb has worked for me. I just need to find low carb foods and meals and snacks.

I've been diligent with at least 1 protein shake a day and taking my vitamins at least twice a day, aiming for 3 times a day.

Being mentally fit is as important as being physicslly fit.

Exercise all around? Count me in.

Day 9

I write tonight as I lay as curled up as possible in my hammock on my back deck. The goal is to watch the stars come out. But it's kinda cold and quite buggy.

If only I wete prepared. If only this weren't in a whim and had been planned out. Naw. The impromptu things can sometimes be the best and most memorable.

I hear the crickets chirping and the frogs peeping. There's a faint roar of traffic in the background.

Goals. I need to have structure goals. I can start things blindly, but eventually I need a plan. Ive had my water intake. I've been meeting that. I stay active. While I haven't been running, I've been putting in a garden I feel the muscles I've been working whilst doing that!

I still need to buy running shoes. I still need to figure out from where and which ones. What am I looking for in a shoe?

Recent I heard or read that I should learn to say "no" to myself Atleast once a day. "It teaches self control."

But w h a t do I tell myself no to? I don't want to get so stingy that I don't allow myself grace.

Only 2 stars are out presently. It doesn't appear to be too cloudy. But it's getting late and I'm getting bitten.

I keep pressing on.

Today I ate fast food. Yes. I had Wendy's. I was going to get a combo, but there was a miscommunication and I ended up with just a sandwich. Probably for the better.

Shoes. I need running shoes. I've been so preoccupied with my garden that I'm not even upset that I haven't bought shoes yet. :)

Day 8

S'more oreos.


I don't want to have "guilty pleasures." I no longer want to hide my likes and dislikes or try to do what everyone else is doing.


Yes, I love s'more oreos. I love carbs. I love things are so no good for me.


My way too many to count oreo snack, followed by at least 3 "serving sizes" of Doritos was washed down with at least 32 ounces of water and 2 "serving sizes" of salad.


Gains and losses.


Wins and loses.


Success and Failure.




I want to figure this out. I want to figure out what works for me. I want to give it my all and not fall or give in.


Have the past 8 days really been a #shread? Not really. Mentally I was all in, but I was holding back. There is a huge blockade in front of me and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to hurdle over it.


What would I lose? Guilt? Shame? A few pounds? I really don't have anything to lose.


My priorities have been so focused on everything else that I am failing to take care of me.


I have goals, but I feel they get weaker by the day.


I have signed up for a half marathon for goodness sakes. Isn't that enough motivation? Apparently not.


One day at a time I am learning more and new things about myself. Each any every day it is something different.


Each day I learn of a love for deeper than a love I have ever known. Just when I think I have experienced it all, a new door opens.


Through HIM A L L things are possible. I can do ALL things through HIM who gives me strength.


I will run this race with endurance. I will not tire or grow faint or weary.


My God holds me up and I look to Him. My eyes remain on Him. My Abba, Father.

Day 7

Never underestimate the power and necessity of recovery days.

After 12 hours of sleep last night, I still squeezed in an hour nap this afternoon. My mind and body are taxed. I remember this happening last time I went kayaking about 6 weeks ago. My weekend is shot. But last time, I had to work 10 hours on my feet the following Sunday.

After my delicious thai food last night, and a great nights rest, I barely had enough time to get ready for church this am. I got up and ran out the door, pretty much.

All I have eaten today has been curry flavored couscous. Perhaps rumor is that pizza will be for dinner? I'm not sure. I'm famished at this point. I'm ready to eat. I just don't want to eat "two dinners."

Limiting screen time is going well. I like the convenience to blog from my phone. I have been doing well with avoiding facebook being my go to first thing in the am.

I'm slowly but surely working through reading my Hardy Boys books. I'm to book 10, but I need to go back and purchase book 8. Oops.

My goals remain the same per usual.

Eat better, drink more, limit screen time, stay active, and buy running shoes.

Day 6

sometines life is busy. Sometimes too busy to blog. Is it a realistic expectation to blog daily? Yes. Yes it is.

Today I went kayaking. Over 12 miles and 2000+ calories burned I'm ready for bed.

I went out for Thai food today. I had chinese earlier this week, too.

Making healthy food choices hasn't been easy. Icecream and cookies are an all to common of a staple in my diet. I don't like that.

Staying hydrated, staying active, and staying accountable via blogging have been the most obtainable goals.

I need running shoes.

I still need to focus on consuming more liquid.

I tried on a swim suit cover today with a cut out in the back. I need to find some back exercises.

Overall 6 days in im feeling good about this process. I'm reading more and watching TV and using the Internet less.

I'm sleeping better, even when I have a weird sleep schedule and can't follow routine.

My goals remain:

- drink more water
- buy running shoes
- limit screen time
- be intentional with how I spend my time
- dig my garden and plant my raspberries

Day 5

Drinking more water has been coming along well. I am up to at least (and more) 48 ounces by now. I met my intake of 64 ounces yesterday. Sometimes it is hard to drink so much. What goes in must come out ... right? Yea.

I decided to order take out Chinese food yesterday. 2 egg rolls and a small curry chicken later ... I was still happy with my food choices.

My snacks in my snack drawer are about gone. All I have left is a handful of raisins that I'll assume are still good to eat.

Eating a pound of bacon may not have been the wisest life choice last night, but it was certainly welcomed! I don't eat bacon often ... but when I do... ;)

I never got out for my walk yesterday, but I went swimming/trading water for the better part of an hour. It felt SO good to be doing something new and different as I haven't been swimming since last fall.

Today's eating choices were good still. I received my herbalife product and have been successful at having a protein shake today as well as keeping up on my multivitamin, too.

I had couscous for dinner tonight. It was tasty.

I might stop at the store tonight and pick up some icecream? I am not sure. I already had 4 girlscout cookies tonight. I bought them in April, and here I am close to 2 months later, and I still have some left. I only bought 2 boxes! In ears past, I had devoured on average a box a week (sometimes more!).

Goals.

• Continue to increase water intake
• Continue to cut back on refined sugars and replace them with healthy options
• Eat more fresh foods, working on eliminating processed foods
• Exercise regularly 

At only 5 days in, I have been able to celebrate success and failure. I have seen already areas of my life where the negativity needs to leave and the positive needs to flow more freely.

I want to let go of being my own worst critic, and really embrace everything about me. I have been able to "talk the talk" in so many areas of life, but for "walking the walk" I have not truly embrace who I am called to be and live my greatest potential being WHO and WHOSE I am.

I was created for a purpose. I have a destiny. I am so very loved by my ABBA. I want to live a life that is holy and pleasing to him.

I will leave you with this quote, re quoted by a friend of mine on facebook from someone wishing to remain anonymous:

"My life got a thousand times better once I stopped censoring myself. And by censoring I don't mean I suddenly started indiscriminately swearing; I mean I stopped trying to sugarcoat my past or my feelings;I stopped lying by omission. I stopped having guilty pleasures; I began unabashedly enjoying whatever I liked; I became very honest. I cut poisonous people out of my life and negative ideals, and I'm so, so much happier for it."

Day 4

Day 4.

Losing motivation to write and keep track of what is happening.

Water intake is increasing.

I received my herbalife product today and already consumed 1 beverage as well as took a multivitamin.

I ran/walked over 2 miles last night.

Making healthy eating choices has been a challenge, but one that is coming along better.

I read last night instead of binge watching tv. 

As long as I have the right mindset, I can do this.

I think the rest of the evening will be spent relaxing at a friends cottage on the lake. I need me some downtime.

Day 3

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

 

I feel like “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” has been on replay in my mind the past 24 hours.

 

I want to have a strong will to stick to this. I want to have the self-control to avoid splurging on the things that won’t fuel my body. I want to do it in a healthy way. If I take on too much too soon, I lose motivation and give up all together.

 

My pants that I just bought within the past 2 months are fitting too tightly. They are hard to pull up, hard to sit in, and hard to move in. The scale is back where it was in January. This was after I had successfully lost 25 pounds from August to April. I hit a plateau. Then I fell into a love-hate relationship with mint chocolate chip icecream. When the scale started to reflect this relationship, I jumped ship with 2/3 a carton remaining. Then a new obsession. Regular coca-cola. I was hooked on diet soda for years in my late teens, and then off and on for the past several years. I still have one sparingly, but not like I used to. But between icecream and soda and making some other unhealthy choices, I ended up going up on the scale … when it should be my new pants going up.

 

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So what am I going to do about this? I had gotten onto a rigorous training plan last fall for a half marathon that I wished to attempt this past spring. But I never signed up for one. Me? Run in winter? Yea right. Instead I hiked. I think hiking is a great 3 season sport and running in a 3 season sport, too. Winter for hiking, and summer for running. Finding the balance in spring and fall.

 

From November to March I did an excellent job at maintaining my weight. I was ready for a new spring wardrobe, but I had maintained all winter long. While I had hoped to shed a few more pounds, I was thrilled that I had not gone up or down (outside of a 8 pound range; 4 up or 4 down).

 

I have tried to get back out and “get to the grind.” I feel too stressed and I feel that the attempts are all but in vain. I feel like I am pressing myself outwardly while I lack the courage, determination and motivation internally. I struggle with the “not good enough” and the “whys” and the comparisons. The “I’ll nevers” and the “I can’ts” and the pain and the hurt of injury because subconsciously I sabotage my own successes.

 

Perhaps this 30 day shred is going to be more emotionally and spiritually cleansing then I had originally thought? While there will remain a physical side, I don’t anticipate it being as grueling as I had been believing in my head. I believe emotional, spiritual, mental and physical all go hand in hand. But ultimately I cannot expect someone to have more confidence in myself than anyone else. I cannot sit on the sidelines waiting for someone to some alongside me telling me now is the time.

 

The spirit is willing, and so is the flesh.

 

 

The past 24 hours were wrought will success and (used as a learning curve) failures.

 

As for making healthy food choices? I had my half of protein shake for breakfast. At work, I have a plethora of snacks that I need to rethink. I had TWO fiber one brownies. I had 1 peanut butter dark chocolate bar, I had Belvita snack crackers. I had carrots and hummus, I had a freezer meal of fried rice and chicken. So all in all, not too bad. Until I picked up a Papa Murphy’s take and bake pizza. Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Olives, Sausage, Cheese. The works. And over half a pizza later. My body was very keen on letting me know how it DISAPPROVED of this life choice. Then to top it off … 4 more s’more oreos were added. I do have to say that I am proud of my limiting it to only 4 a day. Last time I ate at least 2/3 of the carton in one sitting. (GROSS!).

 

I managed to avoid Face Book until 9am this morning. A whole 2 hours after I woke up.

 

As for the coffee creamer … I am making great strides. I have cut out HALF of what I had been using per cup. Granted, I am just finishing up my 2^nd cup of chai tea now, but all in all I am winning.

 

Aiming to drink 64 oz of water was a challenge, and while I ended up coming close, I did miss the mark.  

 

Goals for the next 24 hours:

 

• Continue to make healthy food choices
• Integrate more “me time” and unplug from the world more often
• Drink drink drink more water
• Walk at least 1 mile, shoot for 2, and add small bursts of running as long as there is no pain.

 

7 day goal:

 

• Get my water intake up to a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day by next week Tuesday.
• Get some time in the sun/Son; at least 15 minutes PER DAY!!
• Recognize and replace negative self talk with positive mantras
• Read (pleasure/inspirational/Bible)
• Cut back on phone time; no phone within 30 minutes of waking up (except to shut off alarm and maybe check weather) and no phone at least 30-60 minutes before bed time.

Day 2

Well. Sometimes the thing about motivation is that it is there one moment and completely gone the next. By yesterday afternoon I was giving an office at work a trial run and the first thing I noticed was how close it was to the mini fridge and how I didn't even need to get out of my chair to get there -- just a few rolls and scoots and boom! Welcome snacks!

Picking up from yesterday morning, I did end up pouring the cola down the drain. It involved using a knife and cutting a slit in the top. But a goal this month is to eliminate soda/pop/cola. Water will replace it. I also want to cut back on coffee creamers. I drink chai and coffee and put in way more than 1 TBSP of creamer. I used to not drink any coffee or creamer, but then I am not sure when I decided it would be a cool thing to do? I want to cut down on caffeine, too. To get to that point where I have it cut out of my diet completely would be amazing!

My diet yesterday consisted of a half of protein powder shake, carrots and hummus, 4 s'mores yogurts from Aldi's, 1 fiber one brownie, 1 peanut and dark chocolate protein bar, a handful and a half of the remaining Cheddar Wavy potato chips, and a Capri Sun and a chai tea in addition to the water I drank (close to 45 oz). Then I came home to S'more Oreos. I limited myself to only 4.

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Waking up this morning was not easy. Honestly, I get really frusterated at myself that FaceBook is my go-to in the morning. I want to meditate. I want to pray. I want to read my bible, listen to worship music, exercise. I think I need to not put my phone so close to my bed. That will help significantly.

Once I did get rolled out of bed, I grabbed my yoga mat and brought it downstairs. If I had the confidence, I would do yoga on my back deck. But I live in a development and I have no privacy in the yard.

I cranked up the music -- Praise and Worship. And I did close to 20 minutes of floor exercises, all the while playing fetch with my puppy. Nothing like laying down doing bridges and to look up as my puppy was sitting there ready to drop her toy on my face. Anything to keep the squidge happy!

So now here I sit. Barely 40 minutes into my day. I feel I have gotten next to nothing accomplished. I have to head off to work in the next 45 minutes. I have to get ready for work in that time. I want to go for a walk before work. I want to get outside.

I also ordered more herbalife product yesterday. I want to be committed. It worked for me every time I have been on the product. I just get to the point where I don't want to drop the money on it every month.

I need to be ok with just using the basics. If I have the product, I will have breakfasts. Or lunches. Even dinner. It will save me from going to the store so frequently. All in all, I am spending close to the same. Maybe even saving some. But even if I am spending more, I am fueling my body with better nutrients then if I always bough processed carbs or anything else I buy on a whim.

Goals for the next 24 hours:

- continue to make healthy food choices
- drink at least 64 oz of water
- put less coffee creamer in my tea (even if it is 1 tsp less)
- NOT use Face Book first thing tomorrow morning.


Goals for the week:

- Exercise at least 3 out of the next 7 days by means of walks or runs.
- Buy new running shoes
- Start using herbalife consistently

Until tomorrow! :)

Day 1

Welcome June 1st! New month. New me.

One of my friends joined a #30dayshreadchallenge which inspired me to join, too. I submitted a late join request, so I am still waiting to hear if I got in or not. But regardless, here I am ready to roll!

This morning started like any other morning. My alarm went off and I hit snooze ... for at least an hour. On 2 different devices.

Step 2 of my morning routine involves checking email and facebook. This particular morning, my friend who invited me to partake in this challenge, had posted a video. She posted in an hour ago and exuded such excitement and determination that it motivated me to get up and get going.

First thing first, I grabbed the half bottle of cola in my fridge (that regrettably, I have been addicted to once again), and instead of drinking it, I was going to pour it down the drain. Unfortunately I could not get it open. So I just set it on the counter.

Onward to the next great thing! Floor exercises and stretches.

- 10 push ups
- 10 sit ups
- 10 bridges
- 10 leg lifts
- 10 side to side exercises that I have no idea what they are actually called.
- 35 second plank

My puppy was a great partner. She made sure I had some "necessary" resistance and weird movements as she chomped on my hair, and crawled under me, and licked my skin.

Seeing that I am training for a half marathon, I have been doing some running and walking. I was up to 3 miles, but recently I have been encontering some pain severe enough that I have been pressed to make 2 miles. I hit the trail, and managed 1.10 miles today. Better than nothing, not quite the mileage I was looking for.

This weeks goal: buy more herbalife product and buy new running shoes.

What are my goals of this challenge? They go beyond just fitness. I want my mind to be renewed. June is more than just a body reset. I want it to be a lifestyle reset.