Day 2

I am so desperate for relief. Not very often do I physically feel so bad that I want to scream or cry or even both.


A desk job has its cons. My shoulders and neck feel the brunt of it. I'll be sitting there and my arms go numb and tingly.


I try to stretch. I reach until I can't reach anymore then take it just a tiny bit more. Feel that deep stretch. I bend forward and I feel like my eyes are going to pop out. I bend down and I feel like the pressure builds up in my ears.


All that to say that I am finally going to tour a chiropractors office this afternoon after work. I can't keep doing this.


For so long all I've ever wanted was a deep massage, but I want to work with the very core of what is causing these issues. I need stretches. I need breaks. I need something that will make me enjoy doing what I love so much.


I have tried different chair positions. I have tried removing the arm rests off my chair. I have raise, and I have lowered my monitors. I stopped bending my neck to hold the phone. But now I rest my elbow on the desk. So much pressure everywhere.


At home I don't notice it so much. But when I am driving to work, I can already feel my muscles tighten just in anticipation of what the day is sure to hold.


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So yesterday was day 1 where I didn't consume any cookies, cakes, brownies or ice-cream. I didn't even have any soda. I want to cut soda out 100%.  I don't ever want to go back to fueling my body with the toxins found in it. It has actually been awhile since I've had any anyways, so that I am not too concerned about.


I prepared freezer meals of meatloaf, and cooked up some meatballs which were yesterdays dinner, today's lunch, and maybe tomorrows as well. Aside from the handful of cracker crumbs in the meatballs, I didn't have any heavy gluten loaded meals yesterday. Breakfast was a banana. Lunch was a gluten free spinach wrap with turkey, ranch dressing and kale. Dinner was the meatballs covered in a homemade sweet and sour sauce.


This morning I did jump on the scale because I felt great and not bloated or heavy like I usually do after eating a gluten rich diet the previous day. The scale was down. I felt light.


Breakfast today started with a gluten free spinach wrap with turkey, ranch and kale. Lunch will be meatballs. Dinner I am thinking might be some French fries with taco seasoned meat and cheese. But that is still up in the air.


I want to find some gluten free pasta shells and make stuffed shells or some kind of make, freeze and bake dinner.


I need ideas for gluten free, protein packed freezer meals. I have some stew meat in my freezer, too. Now that fall is almost here, my crockpot will be my best friend.


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Cutting back on sugar will be so very good for me. One thing I also want to work on cutting back on it caffeine. I only drink about 1 cup of coffee a day, with the occasional chai tea several hours later. While I work to eliminate all excess sugar, I am still using creamer. I am afraid to look at that sugar content. I know I use more than the "1 Tablespoon" serving size. But I don't use as much as I used to, either. I have cut back on it and use at least 1/4 to 1/3 less than I was using 3 months ago.


Unfortunately, I am at the point where when I am home on the weekends, I have to do a gas station run to get an iced coffee each day because of the splitting headache. There has to be an alternative while I work on cutting back, to one day eliminating caffeine completely.


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Even as I type this my arms are getting prickly. My neck is stiff, and my wrists and finger are pained.


I pray that this ends soon. I pray that I am able to experience some relief. I try not to focus on it because I believe that when I focus on it, it just intensifies it.


There are so many other people in the world with far more pain. I used to have a high threshold for pain. And perhaps I still do. But right now I feel weak in complaining about my aches.


Ah. Sweet relief. You cannot come soon enough. I pray that I find the right chiropractor and that his/her hands are guided and that my eyes, ears and heart are open to suggestions. This journey and this process are surrendered to the Lord. I am ready to take care of me and see what lies ahead.